The Dolphin – ENFJ

What sets Dolphins apart from their NF siblings is the ease in which they can assimilate into society. This is not to say that it is any better or worse for them in terms of emotional health, but externally, the popular Dolphin is a paragon of social excellence. And unlike the spacy, Puckish otherworldliness of a Baboon, a Dolphin’s idealism is far more grounded and thus, accessible.

The Community Organizer

Margaret Mead with children of Manus Island, circa 1930s. (Photo by Fotosearch/Getty Images).

Standardized personality differences between the sexes are of this order, cultural creations to which each generation, male and female, is trained to conform.

– Margaret Mead

Vocal but not aggressive, sociable but not oppressive, Dolphins use their substantial interpersonal skills to build authentic communities where individuals can be themselves without fear of social reprisal. As group leaders, Dolphins have no equal when it comes to eliciting the intimate thoughts and feelings of other group members, encouraging each individual to share past mistakes, present-day anxieties, and future dreams. During brainstorming sessions, Dolphins ensure that everyone has the opportunity to speak and be heard, frequently abstaining from voicing their own opinion until the very end—as an NF, ENFJs are always wary of exerting too much social pressure from their position of authority. This also allows the Dolphin, who might not have prior experience in a particular situation, to pool the best answers from the group, eventually leading to an ideal solution—basically, a Dolphin doesn’t necessarily have to know the way in order to lead the way. This style of direction can be baffling to other, more authoritative, types, who view the Dolphin’s leadership style as the sort of “leading from the back”, laissez-faire idealism that pervades leadership conferences and sells books, but is completely ineffective in the “real world”. However, to a Dolphin, the world is what we make of it, and the only reason why antiquated concepts like gender and racial stereotypes continue to permeate society is because they continue to be indoctrinated as “reality”. A Dolphin’s main purpose in life is to create a better reality, created by all of the people who have to live in it.

The Teacher

John Wooden

The outstanding coach is a teacher that gets all of his squad to accept the role that he considers to be the most important for the welfare of all.

– John Wooden

Like all NFs, Dolphins are superb at connecting with a wide variety of personalities, age groups, ethnicities, and the like, by communicating their ideas to them on an emotional level. The major difference is, as an idealist who likes to work within systems of people, a Dolphin’s energy is focused on crafting their message to each individual member of the team, class, or organization. Whether it’s a superstar shooting guard in dire need of a lesson in humility, or an entitled, apathetic middle school student embarrassed by the story of Malala, those under the leadership of Dolphins benefit from their outside-the-box teaching strategies in a way that no amount of heavy-handed discipline—otherwise known as the traditional method—could match. The end result is that every member of the group feels accepted as an individual, and it is that sense of self-worth that inspires both cohesion and a dedication to the greater welfare of all.

The “TMI” Guy—or Gal

Veronica Sawyer

Oh, the cops. I can’t believe this is my life. Oh my God. I’m gonna have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford.

– Veronica Sawyer (“Heathers”)

Dolphins can be incredibly open about sharing their feelings, an important, albeit nuanced, difference from Baboons, who mostly share their ideas and opinions while keeping their deepest feelings under wraps. This leads to Dolphins being perceived as spirited, yet grounded—emotions being far more accessible to the more numerous concrete personality types than abstract convictions—causing them to be quite popular. They are the cool, yet unpretentious homecoming king or queen, or the former student body president and valedictorian that, in a recurring dream of your parents, you bring home for Thanksgiving. The downside to a Dolphin’s limited verbal discretion is that by revealing so much private information—please ENFJ, do you think we really want to hear about your incontinence issues?—they can make others feel uncomfortable. This also makes them appear overly sensitive and emotionally needy. And at those times where appearance and reality coincide, the popularity that seemed to come to them with such ease turns into neurotic paranoia, with the Dolphin agonizing over whether everyone hates them or not.

The Diplomat

Gorbachev

For a new type of progress throughout the world to become a reality, everyone must change. Tolerance is the alpha and omega of a new world order.

– Mikhail Gorbachev

It’s interesting to compare Dolphins with Butterflies. While the two types could not be farther apart in many ways, the most vital trait that they share is a natural instinct for creating harmony. However, with Dolphins, instead of notes, or colors, or flavors, the harmony is created with people. They are the alleviators of social discord, the peacemakers and conflict-breakers. And while peace may come at a cost—Dolphins often find themselves in a precarious position as they figuratively stand, both arms outstretched between two raging opponents, taking punches from both sides—they do it with such humility that it is almost impossible for the warring sides to remain hostile to them. Unhealthy Dolphins might mistake acquiescence with peace, and, most commonly in romantic relationships, will use a quick fix method of avoiding conflict by repressing their own needs. A mature Dolphin, however, realizes that actual conflict resolution cannot be achieved without confrontation, and that diplomacy is truly a long game; one in which, with the ENFJ’s vigorous emotional endurance and strong leadership abilities, they’re an ideal player. Or as once stated by a South American diplomat, “La ciencia de la paz es paciencia” – “The science of peace is patience.”

2 Comments

  • Irene Jenneth Hara says:

    I love this, that is me!!

  • Leland Williamson says:

    I feel like it really described me. I have

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