You are Tyrion Lannister (Chimpanzee)!

“That’s what I do: I drink and I know things.”

The possessor of a keen and innovative mind, you can use it to prevent the slaughter of a city from within and without, counsel a Queen on the best way to conquer a continent, or, in a pinch, convince slavers not to cut your dick off. And for those who are intelligent enough to see past your jesting, they know that the drunken dwarf, who is never at a loss for a wisecrack or an ironic jibe, is an intellectual force to be reckoned with.