The Spider – INTJ

If life is, as Voltaire once wrote, just a game, then the Spider seems to be playing chess while the rest of us are playing checkers. Not only do they always have a plan, but they usually have multiple contingencies as well. And as opposed to Killer Whales, NT siblings that are prone to displaying their hand for all to see, the serious and reserved Spiders very rarely reveal the personal agenda that drives their farsighted planning.

The Empiricist

Ayn Rand

All the reasons which made the initiation of physical force evil, make the retaliatory use of physical force a moral imperative.

– Ayn Rand

If research is a god, consider the Spider a true believer. More studious than Killer Whales and more grounded than Chimpanzees and Owls, Spiders rely primarily on empirical evidence to power their reasoning. Thus, they are commonly perceived to be the most “reasonable” of their NT brethren. Spiders place a greater emphasis on the application of theory than the creation of it, a trait they share with the Killer Whales—though Spiders are far more detail-oriented. They have the uncanny ability to not only comprehend the various twists and turns a complex theory might take, but to also develop a system in which these ideas can flourish in the real world. Spiders view knowledge as a means of reaching an objective, one that can hopefully change the world for the better. Much of this work is performed behind the scenes, as Spiders, on the outside, can seem similar to the introverted Owls and—their NF cousins—Giant Pandas. However, unlike the natural pacifists, the Owl and Panda, a Spider is not opposed to war, in and of itself. Like all things in their sphere of understanding, war is just an abstract idea, the virtue of which is dictated solely by practicality and context. After all, to a Spider, abstract ideas are primarily vehicles for real, tangible impact, and to automatically judge something, either positively or negatively, without understanding its context in the real world, is intellectually prejudicial. In this manner, most Spiders are quite objective, expressing a great deal of skepticism when it comes to value judgments such as “good” and “evil”. To accuse them of not believing in such things might be an overreach; suffice it to say, they’re likely agnostic, trusting the data they’ve been compiling—a life long enterprise for most Spiders—to lead the way.

The Reserved Contradiction

Kristin Kreuk1

It’s not that easy to find someone I can relate to. I’m tough to crack because I’m shy.

– Kristin Kreuk

Spiders are a living oxymoron. On one hand, they are industrious, career-minded individuals. On the other hand, they create systems with the expressed goal of avoiding doing more work than they deem necessary, and career ambition as a means to material success is an anathema to them. They can be terse in general conversation, but if asked about their current project, they will ramble on and on about every minute detail. Their thoughts are methodically collated. Their workspace is a cluttered disaster. A Spider will utilize an online system to schedule a meeting that perfectly fits every attendee’s schedule, a meeting in which they will be presenting the intricate specificity of a plan they have meticulously crafted, and just prior to said presentation, they will proceed to accidentally run into a pole on the way to the office. The most tragic contradiction: Spiders are often viewed as being cold and indifferent, despite the wellspring of intense emotions bottled up inside of them. Perhaps it is their desire to always be in control of a situation—only the Killer Whale is a bigger control freak—that causes Spiders to repress their feelings, for fear that expressing them might leave them vulnerable. A Spider might choose to just shut most people out entirely, which invariably decreases their interpersonal skills, as their insight into people will be limited to what books they can research on the subject. Thankfully, mature Spiders are able to relinquish the need for absolute control, and will open up to a small selection of trusted individuals.

The Contingency Planner

Michael Corleone

Let’s set the meeting. Get our informers to find out where it’s gonna be held. Now, we insist it’s a public place, a bar, a restaurant, some place where there’s people, so I feel safe. They’re gonna search me when I first meet them, right? So I can’t have a weapon on me then. But if Clemenza can figure a way to have a weapon planted there for me, then I’ll kill ’em both.

– Michael Corleone (“The Godfather”)

The master of the algorithm, it is not unusual to hear a Spider using conditional statements like “if this, then that…” when devising a strategy. Spiders pride themselves on always being three steps ahead of everyone else; don’t be surprised if you find out that a Spider has already prepared a plan B and C for the fifth likeliest outcome of any given scenario. Long term planning is common for the objective-minded Spider. Days, weeks, years, even decades may pass before a Spider gets what they want. This is not evidence of fear or dispassion, but merely the patience to wait until certain conditions have been met and the Spider’s goal is ripe for the taking. Unfortunately, there can be negative consequences to such narrow-minded dedication, as Spiders are not the most self aware of individuals, and the vigilance they show to their plans does not always extend itself to their emotional well-being. Spiders might find themselves in a situation where they have spent years of planning to achieve an outcome that they are just beginning to realize they don’t want.

The Efficient Problem Solver

Bill Gates

I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.

– Bill Gates

The Spider’s gift is the ability to integrate a myriad of disparate, even discordant, ideas into a harmonious web of synchronicity, an elegantly practical, working system that solves an existing problem or fulfills a foreseeable need. For a Spider, the beauty of the design lies in its tangible efficiency, a strong departure from the other NT designers, the fanciful Chimpanzee and the speculative Owl. The Spider’s plan is always to minimize input and maximize output, in a way that can be easily incorporated into the general operations of the company or institution that they work for. Because of this, it is common to find Spiders in fields that have a strong need for structural precision, such as corporate business, education, computer science, academic research, etc. Whether they are designing a hostile takeover, a curriculum, a software program, or an experimental study, Spiders work tirelessly to create a system that, at worst, will increase productivity, and at best, will revolutionize their respective industry.


  • Avatar Frank Rugamba says:

    Still I Don’t Understand Who I Am!
    Is There An Expert To Converse To?

  • Nice article. Although after reading this I realize there are easier ways to phrase the words. I mean instead of the numerous big words used you could easily just use simpler terms.

    • Avatar Just another Internet as*le says:

      Well, after reading your comment (which uses two sentences to state the same thing -redundancy), I wouldn’t entrust you with the task of making this article more to the point. Maybe you just got INTJ and felt the need to prove your “INTJness”, but at least do it right, mate. Or just don’t be an as*le about it. Cheers.

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